Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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