so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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