i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
