Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
