You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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