My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
