It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
