Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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