Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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