Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize