I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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