he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
