i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
