Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
