Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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