you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
