WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
