I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
