You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
