My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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