Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
