Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
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I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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