Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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