so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh