her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?