I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
