he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
