I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
