Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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