just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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