So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
