Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
