I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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