are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize