I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Come on in and take your pants off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
