Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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