Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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