Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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