Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
