I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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