This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
