I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
