I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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