now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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