Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
