At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
