It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
