Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
