A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize