we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
