dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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