Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
