the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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