I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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