Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've blown a few things in my day
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
