There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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