I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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