Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
