im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
