I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
