i can't believe i had my finger in that
Michael Bay diarrhea
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
