i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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