some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
