I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
