She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
